Traditional breakups are tough. The kind where you go through the minor inconveniences of finding a new coffee shop to frequent or getting a new gym membership to avoid unwanted run-ins. The kind where you get a new haircut and block them on all forms of social media. The simple type of breakup.
But breaking up while living together? That’s messy and never coincides with a lease end date. Your new era of single life looks less appealing when you’re up all night searching for a new apartment and divvying up your belongings.
Breaking Up Isn’t Fun
There could be a million reasons why you and your partner decided to cohabit together. Moving in together is convenient and financially rewarding. It also gives you a front-row seat to your partner’s habits, quirks, and lifestyle choices.
According to PEW, about four in ten unmarried couples are living together. While it’s more common, so is the likelihood of a breakup. Regardless of the “why” you choose to go your separate ways, charting a step-by-step process to ensure a reasonably smooth (and less expensive) exit will do you wonders.
Breaking The News
If you’re reading this, you’ve already decided to go through with the breakup. Whatever your reasons are, they are personal. The hardest part of choosing to uncouple is to break it to your partner.
Opening up old wounds and wallowing in the bad parts of the relationship won’t do you any favors moving forward. Respect your former partner’s emotions; even though you decided to move in together, they may not want to part ways.
Choose your words carefully, be transparent, and be kind. Writing down your thoughts can help you prepare for the conversation. It will deter you from sidetracking and stepping on emotional land mines. Remember, the conversation you have now is only the first of many. Set the tone here so moving on from living together is a practical effort.
Have a Temporary Exit Strategy
Living together after a breakup isn’t ideal. A preplanned (temporary) exit strategy will do wonders following the big breakup conversation. It will give you and your former partner space to grieve and time to plan for a future without each other.
If you have the means to leave your shared space immediately, you don’t have to sacrifice comfort to do so. CORT Furniture Rental is an excellent source for furnishing a temporary living space. You can select, enhance and return furniture on your terms. Feeling comfortable while navigating your new routine will keep your head clear of any distractions from the upcoming work you’ll have to do.
Enlist Your Support System
No matter how old you are, your mom and dad are still your mom and dad. Staying home for a few days to avoid conflict is an excellent alternative to spending money you don’t have on an alternative living solution. Call a close friend and crash on their couch if family isn’t an option. Like how you told your partner your plans, be transparent with your family and friends. More likely than not, the ones who love you will always want to help you.
If leaving altogether isn’t an option soon, negotiate the boundaries of breaking up but still living together. Honoring and respecting each other’s boundaries is paramount. Who goes to the guest bedroom or onto the couch can be a reasonable conversation. It can also save you from backsliding on your decision to move out.
Of course, the stars didn’t align and your lease isn’t up for a few months. If you cannot take on the lease responsibility solo, weigh all your options, such as subletting.
The most risk-free solution is to break your lease. You can check in with your landlord and state laws to see if breaking the lease is viable. If not, it can be costly with early termination fees and the other expenses that come with moving out. Subletting the apartment will give you and your former partner the flexibility to obtain new living arrangements with a fixed time limit. You can save for a new deposit without also shouldering the cost of the apartment or home you rent together.
Make sure you both have a say in interviewing potential live-ins, so you don’t find yourself down the rabbit hole of dealing with an unwanted tenant in the future.
Moving On, Moving Out
Now that you and your partner have had time to gather your thoughts and agree on moving-out logistics, you can begin researching places to live. Ending a relationship when living together is never an enjoyable experience, but finding a new place to live doesn’t have to be an ordeal while you’re in the midst of mourning.
When it’s time to move in, finding a new place ASAP is priority number one. ApartmentSearch can help you and your partner find new, separate places. This apartment search engine lets you explore new places by price, amenities, and location. Find your perfect new spot today!